I THINK THE CLOSEST I EVER CAME to being thrown out of the church was a Sunday I preached on these verses. How naive of me to come into the pulpit with the words of Jesus, red letter and all, and not expect to be buttonholed after worship.
I was because of verse 10. The New International Version, which we use here, reads this way: “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault.” That wouldn’t be a problem because folks are more than glad to go and point out the fault in someone else. In fact, for some folks, that’s their spiritual gift, to tell other people what’s wrong with them.
The NIV leaves out the phrase “against you.” Now, in the very oldest manuscripts of the Bible there are variations in wording. Translators have to decide which variation to use. Other translations, like the King James Version, the New King James Version, the New Revised Standard Version and the Common English Bible, include the variant and read:
“If your brother or sister sins against you,” go and correct them when you are alone together.
That opens a whole new kettle of fish.
† † †
THAT WAS WHAT I FOCUSED ON that Sunday. “If your brother or sister sins against you, go and point out their fault.” I just simply restated what Jesus had said. If someone has hurt you, sinned against you, said something that bothers you, go and talk with them about it. If you feel someone has wronged you, go immediately and share that hurt with them in an effort to make things right.
That’s where the problem came. People came up after worship and said, “You don’t mean that I should go talk to my sister who hurt me years ago and work things out? She needs to come to me!”
Or this: “Did I hear you right? It’ll be a cold day in you-know-where before I go and talk to that so-and-so. He cheated on me.”
People gathered around to tell me their stories of woe. Times of hurt. Pain they’ve lived with because of the action or inaction of someone long ago. And I appreciated their openness. But every time there came this caveat — here will be no resolution until that person comes to make amends. They are ready to go, and had gone, straight to the “treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector” part.
† † †
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT PREACHING the words of Jesus will get you into trouble. After all, they got him killed. I wasn’t thrown off a cliff that Sunday but I did learn that we follow the Bible until the Bible gets in our way.
Here’s the thing. If someone offends us we are to go and talk to them. I’ll add in our 21st-century world, texting might not be the way to handle this. There are lots of reasons why:
● They might not know that they offended you. Something said, an unintended snub. How can they repair what they don’t know is broken?
● If they do know — it was intentional, malicious, aimed at you — then going to them might just help them see the pain, hear the hurt and confess/apologize.
This doesn’t mean you have to be best friends after this. Esau and Jacob came together, extended forgiveness, and then went their separate ways. (Genesis 33)
† † †
THERE ARE OTHER PROCEDURES to go through — taking a witness, not to gang up on someone but to serve as a mediator, an objective third party. Then ultimately go to the church to bring about correction and resolution. If that doesn’t work, then treat them as a pagan or tax collector. Of course, we think that means to write them off. To disregard them. To exile them from our relationship. To cast them as far as the east is from the west. Oh, how foolish we are. When Jesus tells us to treat people like pagans and tax collectors, we have to look at how Jesus treated pagans and tax collectors.
Jesus is accused of hanging with tax collectors and sinners. He ate with Zacchaeus. Jesus shared life with them. Matthew, a tax collector, became a disciple. Never does Jesus speak of tax collectors as hopeless outsiders, misfits to be thrown away. He speaks of them with love. Sometimes with praise. Once Jesus even said that tax collectors will enter the kingdom before the religious. Jesus proclaimed the pagan Roman soldier had greater faith than anyone in Israel.
When we have divisions with another, we are to go by the Book. Visit, seek forgiveness and reconciliation. If that doesn’t work we continue to go by the Book — love with the goal of forgiveness and settlement. The goal of Matthew 18 is not to run someone off. Always compassion. Always responsibility toward reunion.
† † †
STUBBORN SINNERS, LIKE TAX COLLECTORS and pagans, can be redeemed. Lost sheep can be found. Self-righteousness can be cured.
Go to the person and no one else. Air your concern. “Remember what you said yesterday. That really hurt. I don’t want that to be a barrier in our friendship. Can we talk about it? If yes, then you have gained a brother and sister. If no, continue to act in positive ways, seeking a remedy through another person of wisdom and honor. Seeking wisdom from the church.
When viewed in this light, the verse that says, “If two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven” takes on a different meaning. When two, the offended and the offender, work out their differences, agree on forgiveness, restore relationships, then God will bless that conversation, that reunion.
Is this hard? Yes, it is. Is it the guidance of Christ himself? Yes, it is.
— Keith Cardwell
